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UNEMPLOYMENT CHECK: This Video Contains All Of The Reasons Why Our Society Is Doomed
In the spirit of
Lindsay Lohan Week here on the blog, let us take a closer look at the
Dina Lohans of the world, the madmen and women who actually created these party monsters: Hollywood Parents. Luckily, E!’s new show
Sunset Tan has given us a PERFECT specimen in this must-see video segment, which is just about the most horrifying and depressing indicment of our culture as I’ve ever seen. In fact, there is so much just completely wrong with this clip that we’ve included video footnotes that correspond to our “help us understand this” list below. Someday, historians are going to look back at this clip and regard it as the definitive explanation of the downfall of Western Civilization.
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1. Um, does she attend The Little Hollywood Stripper Prepatory Academy?
2. Is a coat of fresh orange paint really how you want your daughter to “stand out”?
3. Dude, just so you know, you earn your living by tricking small children into making themselves look ridiculous for profit. Classy!
4. “Oooooh?” Lady, the answer you’re looking for is “Nooooo”.
5. Oh. My. God.
6. While he’s absolutely right about this being LA, that only makes this whole thing that much more depressing.
7. Despite all the poverty and starvation in the world, that woman actually just paid $1300 to help her school-aged daughter look like a random Hollywood crackwhore.
8. Scratch that, FORCED her school-aged daughter to look like a random Hollywood crackwhore.
9. Is it even possible for television or irony to get any better than this?
10. Well dear, you LOOK like an Oompa Loompa with a sunburn.
